Distant Togetherness

We are experimenting with some safe ways of reconnecting with people we care about. These are taken with an abundance of caution and only with folks we feel confident will adhere to public health recommendations.

Experiment #1: Reunion Apart In A Park

We found a public park with shaded bleachers halfway between our family and another household, each party was fully masked except when eating, each party brought their own food for a picnic lunch. We brought home-baked chocolate chip cookies to share, and placed them in a repurposed takeout container so that we would not handle the same food.

Everyone was good about sticking to strict public health guidelines. The park had all play equipment closed, and picnic tables were roped off as out of bounds due to the proximity of seating. We were lucky to find the bleachers open, and in the future bringing our own folding chairs may be advisable.

There was not much for the kids to do to channel their energy, but a park was a great outdoor spot for conversation. The other party brought smashball to play in open areas nearby with the kids, which was a hit. If you can bring your own entertainment (a ball, etc) this is a good option.

1.5 hours was the perfect amount of time to allot for this get-together, and there was something deeply satisfying about seeing people we care about in person even though we’ve been speaking by video calls.

Experiment #2: Beer And Nuts Before Dinner

A close friend I regularly walked with pre-COVID dropped by for a beer and fresh-roasted almonds before dinner. I wore a mask, set up a couple of chairs on a patch of lawn about 8 feet apart, and left a choice of cold beers and an individual bag of nuts on his chair.

We participate in an online weekly strategy gaming group that replaced a cherished, less frequent in-person game we had going with several dads before COVID. The online version could not capture the spontaneous conversation that occurred with in-person get-togethers.

Men tend to have trouble finding supportive friends they can talk to regularly, so cutting out those in-person game nights was a loss.

It was wonderful to see a good friend and hear what was going on personally and professionally in his life. I’ll plan to make these more regular events.

Experiment #3: Backyard Swim

Close friends who are normally known for hosting popular, large family social events invited only our family over to have the kids swim while we sat and caught up outside, in their back yard.

We texted back and forth beforehand about what safety measures would make each of us feel comfortable, so we were on the same page regarding expectations.

We were outdoors the entire time. We all wore masks when not eating, seated on patio furniture that was strategically placed at safe distances apart. We planned for an after lunch get-together. Shared snacks were either individually packaged or set aside in a repurposed takeout container so that each family had separate food.

The kids were good about maintaining social distance of 6 feet or greater in the pool, and swimming was a useful way for the kids to channel their energy.

The adults had a great chance to chat about what was on our minds. There was a little awkwardness to remaining at a distance, but on the whole it was comforting to see old friends whose company we enjoy, and we’ll likely do this again.